Feeding Children Well in Jordan: Lunchboxes, Picky Eating, and Family Meals

Feeding children is where nutrition advice most often collides with reality. A plan that ignores the school canteen, the grandmother who expresses love through food, and the child who has decided this week that rice is unacceptable is a plan that will not be followed.

Here is what actually works.

The division of responsibility

This is the single most useful concept in child nutrition, and it resolves a large share of mealtime conflict.

The parent decides what food is offered, when, and where. The child decides whether to eat, and how much.

That's the whole framework. It sounds simple and it is remarkably hard to follow, because it means not forcing, not bribing, not negotiating, and not making a separate meal when the first is refused.

What it produces over time: children who regulate their own intake, and mealtimes that stop being a battleground.

What breaks it: pressure. Pressuring a child to eat reliably reduces intake of that food and increases refusal. Bribing with dessert teaches that vegetables are the toll and sweets are the reward — the precise opposite of the intended lesson.

Picky eating

Some degree of food refusal is developmentally normal, particularly between two and six years. Most children pass through it.

What helps:

• Repeated, pressure-free exposure. A child may need to see a food ten or more times before trying it. Put it on the table without comment. No reaction to refusal, no reaction to acceptance.
• Serve family-style where the child chooses from shared dishes rather than receiving a pre-loaded plate.
• Always include one accepted food at every meal so the child can eat something without a separate meal being made.
• Involve them — shopping, washing vegetables, stirring. Children eat food they helped prepare more readily.
• Eat together. Children copy what adults eat far more than what adults tell them to eat.
• Neutral language. Not "good" and "bad" foods, not "just three more bites."

When to seek help: fewer than about 20 accepted foods, dropping foods without replacing them, distress at mealtimes, poor growth, gagging or choking, or refusal of an entire food group. This may be avoidant/restrictive food intake disorder or a sensory issue, and it needs assessment rather than persistence.

School lunchboxes that actually come back empty

The canteen and the dukkan near the school gate offer chips, biscuits, and soft drinks. You won't win by making the lunchbox austere — an unappealing lunchbox gets traded or binned.

A workable structure:

• Something with protein — labneh sandwich, boiled egg, leftover chicken, cheese, hummus with vegetable sticks
• A carbohydrate — whole wheat khubz, a za'atar manaqish, or a small pasta salad
• Fruit — cut and ready to eat. Whole apples come home; sliced apples get eaten.
• Vegetables — cucumber, carrot, cherry tomatoes, pepper strips
• Water — not juice

Jordanian lunchbox options children generally accept:

• Labneh and cucumber in khubz
• Za'atar manaqish, cut into pieces
• Hummus with vegetable sticks and bread
• Egg and cheese in a wrap
• Small fatayer with spinach or cheese
• Leftover maqluba or grilled chicken in a container
• Yoghurt with a few dates or nuts

Let children help pack it. Participation raises the odds it gets eaten considerably.

The sugar question

Sugar is embedded in Jordanian childhood — sweets at every family visit, juice with meals, biscuits after school, and grandparents for whom feeding children sweets is an expression of affection.

Prohibition backfires. Children who are strictly forbidden sweets tend to overconsume them when unsupervised.

More effective:

• Water as the default drink. Juice is the largest and most avoidable sugar source in most children's diets — offer whole fruit instead.
• Sweets at a predictable time, alongside or after a meal rather than grazed through the day.
• Don't use food as a reward or punishment. This is where much adult emotional eating is learned.
• Handle the extended family diplomatically. "One piece with lunch" is more negotiable than a blanket ban, and preserves the relationship.

Growth, and what actually matters

Parents in Jordan frequently worry that a child is too thin — this is a very common clinic presentation, and often the child is growing entirely normally.

What matters is the growth curve over time, not a single measurement or a comparison with a cousin. A child tracking consistently along their own percentile is growing well, whether that's the 25th or the 75th.

Genuine concern is warranted if a child crosses percentile lines downward, loses weight, is persistently lethargic, or has a very restricted range of foods.

Common deficiencies in Jordanian children: iron and vitamin D. Both are widespread, both are easily tested, and both affect concentration, energy, and school performance. Worth checking if a child is persistently tired or pale.

Read more on vitamin D and iron in Jordan →

Never comment on a child's body

This deserves its own section.

Comments about a child's weight — from parents, relatives, or anyone — are strongly associated with disordered eating and poor body image later, and they don't produce healthier eating. This includes comments intended kindly, and comments about other people's bodies made in front of children.

If there is a genuine health concern, address it through what happens in the household: what food is available, whether meals are eaten together, how much the family moves. Not through anything said to the child about their body.

Change the environment, not the child.

What families can actually do

Most improvement comes from a small number of household-level changes:

1. Eat together where schedules allow, without screens
2. Cook at home more often
3. Water as the default drink
4. Keep fruit and vegetables visible and prepared
5. Don't keep large quantities of sweets and crisps stocked — availability drives consumption
6. Move together — the family walk is worth more than any lecture

Children learn eating from what surrounds them, not from what they're told.

Frequently asked questions

My child refuses vegetables. What should I do? Keep offering without pressure. Repeated neutral exposure works; forcing and bribing reduce acceptance. Include one accepted food at every meal so the child can eat something.

Should I make a separate meal if my child won't eat? No. Serve one family meal that includes at least one food the child accepts. Making separate meals reinforces refusal.

Is juice bad for children? Whole fruit is better. Juice provides concentrated sugar without fibre and is often the largest sugar source in a child's diet. Water should be the default drink.

How do I know if my child is growing normally? Growth is assessed on the curve over time rather than a single measurement. A child tracking consistently along their own percentile is generally fine. Ask your paediatrician to plot it.

Should my child take supplements? Only if a deficiency is identified through testing. Iron and vitamin D deficiency are common in Jordan and worth checking if a child is persistently tired or pale.

When should I see a dietitian about my child? If they accept very few foods, are dropping foods, have poor growth, distress at mealtimes, a diagnosed condition, or a suspected deficiency.

Rula Abu Ghazaleh is a clinical dietitian practising in Amman. Book a consultation →

This article is general nutrition information and is not a substitute for individual medical or dietetic advice. Concerns about a child's growth should be discussed with your paediatrician.